Homeschool Burn Out

I have been debating whether to share this or not. It’s hard to admit when we feel like we are failing at something, especially when it involves letting down those we love the most.  But I am taking a deep breath and sharing.

I’m tired. Tired of all the work and planning that goes into a lesson that is over so quickly. Even if it is met with enthusiasm. I’m tired of all the plans that don’t get executed. I’m tired of always feeling like I am never doing enough. I’m tired of feeling so isolated and lost, and not feeling like I have the time (or energy) to connect with other homeschooling moms. I’m tired of always striving, aspiring, but still feeling inadequate. I’m tired of beating myself up for all the parenting mistakes I make. I’m tired of not having quality time with my husband. I’m tired of not having time to pursue the things I am interested in, and when I do take time, feeling guilty for all the other things I am not doing. I’m tired and I just don’t feel like trying anymore!


Whew! Do you ever have days (weeks) where you feel like this? OK, so what to do?

Donna Simmons has a great article on the  September Boom and Bust.

These words especially spoke to me:

“At home isolation can mean that one feels utterly alone in making decisions and teaching and even if one has a supportive spouse and perhaps a Waldorf co-op, at the end of the day, it's just you and your child staring at each other across the dining room table, crayons and main lesson books spilling out between you.”

It’s more than just the schooling. It’s the rhythm of the days, the constant demands of family, home, and work. I am a very strong introvert, and even as an active child had a need for a lot of downtime to recharge myself. But how to make time for oneself, without neglecting the needs of family, friends, spouse and work? And shouldn't I just will myself into moving forward, giving freely of myself to my loving family, after all, they are only young for such a short time right?

So, what to do? Last year I attended this wonderful health conference sponsored by the hospital I work for. The first speakers were a group of yoga instructors. Not just your ordinary lithe yoga instructors - these three women were all over the age of 72. They were special, you could see that the moment you looked at them. They carried themselves with confidence, grace, and a freely expressed joy that you don't often encounter. The lead instructor asked the listening group to write down on a piece of paper the one thing that we considered the most important in the whole world. She then collected the papers and began reading them randomly. Many said things like family, relationships, and love. But many also mentioned Health. Yes, our health is the most important thing to us. But that sounds so selfish doesn't it? But as she pointed out, our health is the most important thing, because without good health how can we share all the other important things like caring for our families and friends, loving and helping others?

I try to remind myself of this as I consider what I need at this moment in time to feel healthy and whole again. I know for a fact that how I feel - happy, sad, excited, silly, serious, grumpy, resentful, affects the mood and atmosphere in my home. From the baby to my spouse, I have the POWER to influence how everyone else in my home feels. Sometimes I can will myself into positive feelings. But sometimes I cannot. And when I chronically neglect myself, it becomes harder and harder to will myself into feeling positive.

Melissa Nielsen does an excellent job of encouraging mothers to care for themselves in her curriculum guides.


So, I am thinking I need to take a little time to renew myself. 

I will find a way to balance the needs of the family with my own needs. I will take time to pursue activities that are meaningful and important to me, without feeling guilty. I will continue to strive for more knowledge – of child development, of Steiner’s teachings, of healthy eating, of clinical nutrition issues (for my clinical work)…but I will balance this with joyful and renewing activities.

·         I am registering myself for a spring duathlon – 5K run, 30K bike, 5K run

·         I am starting a yoga class

·         I am reaching out to more of my mom friends and planning activities with them

·         I am scheduling a date day with my husband at least once a month (this is a start, considering our work schedule)

·         I am learning to ask for help (always a problem for me, passed down from my very independent and stoic mother)

I am hoping that by having more renewing activities, I can better approach my home life with joy. I have experienced joy in the ‘work’ of parenting, home-making, and home schooling, so I know it is possible. Remembering to feel gratitude everyday is extremely helpful, but difficult to maintain when you are tired and feeling burned out.

I am wondering if anyone else has these moments of wanting to give up? And what do you do to overcome them? How do you regain the confidence and joy in your home life? How do you balance your own needs with those of your family? What excites you, makes you feel refreshed? And how do you find time for these things in the midst of schooling, cooking, cleaning, being present for your family?

Thanks for reading,

M