Reluctant Children and Music Lessons

It's funny how often your children can surprise you. Sita started piano last year, and she really enjoyed it. They had a student recital and she was so brave, struggling to get through "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star". She has always been the imaginative, creative, artistic one, singing along with all her favorite songs, painting and drawing everyday. I have tons of her beautiful work tucked away, starting at about age three with her amazing marker work of mosaics.

Sean on the other hand, has never been particularly interested in expressing his imaginative or creative side. I remember distinctly when he was about four years old, I had bought him some Pokemon action figures (he was a big fan of Pokemon, and we had a lot of media in our home at the time to support this interest!) He opened them up and stated "Mom, you know I don't like the pretend stuff!" How true, his play was never the imaginative play I remembered in my own childhood.

But he has other talents. He has always been a builder. From infancy, he loved his wooden blocks, progressing to the Legos, then these wonderful magnetic sticks and balls, to blanket fort building. Last summer he was on a blanket fort building frenzy and for days had an entire floor of our three-story town-home covered in a fort. He used every last blanket, sheet, towel and couch/chair cushion we had in our house. He kept improving and perfecting it, and inviting his friends to come over and judge which version was the best.

He is also a cook and baker, and likes to experiment with his own recipes and combinations (some good, some not so good!) He enjoys getting up early and making me a Seanelet (Sean omelet) as we affectionately call it.

At our local Waldorf homeschool co-op, the children were playing recorders. Sean was really good at it, but hated it. I could see how easy learning music came to him, so I decided to sign him up for music lessons. I gave him a choice of instrument - his first choice naturally was the drums. Not an option in our town-home (I took pity on our neighbors). Piano was more practical. And so we started piano lessons last summer.

He made sure to inform me at every opportunity how much he did NOT want to be taking piano lessons. But he is a really good piano player. He learns very quickly. He has great long fingers. And he plays - every day. A lot. Once he learns a new song as directed by his instructor, he will keep working with it, experimenting, playing it in new ways. "Mom, listen to this, which way do you like it better?" He will play the song in different keys, he will play it faster, slower, he will change parts of it. He will record himself playing and then play with himself in a different key.

We have conversations about the music. What is the mood and how does it change when you change the tempo or the keys? What imagery does the music invoke? I never had music in my childhood. No one in my family played or sang. I wanted to learn, but never had anyone to push me, or to show me by example. I am so pleased that Sean fills our home with his beautiful music. I watch in awe as baby Alina sits at the bench and moves her toddler fingers over the keys gently, just like her big brother.

Family and friends come over and he will play for them. He will stand on the other side of the piano and play the songs backwards (how he does this, I have no idea!) We started with a really cheap tabletop keyboard that someone gave us, the kind you buy at Toys R Us. But we decided to invest in a better electronic piano. For him. And I could see it made him feel special.

He still complains about his lessons, in fact he "hates" them. And if I let him, he would stop taking lessons. But I am going to make the mom decision to keep him in lessons. I see the joy he receives, and I see the new creativity and self-confidence it gives him. Even if he stops lessons in a year or two, he will carry his knowledge, skills and abilities into adulthood. Maybe some day he will decide to come back to it on his own.

For the time being, I am grateful for the sound of his music. 

Exercise and Will Power - Part Two Getting Started

Sometimes, the hardest part about getting enough physical activity is the getting started part. It is so easy to talk ourselves out of exercise. There are a million things that need doing, and if you aren't enthusiastic about exercising (or even if you are), it can be difficult to make it a priority. Don't talk yourself out of it!

If you have set aside a specific time for your exercise, then get yourself ready ahead of time. Put on the appropriate clothes, start thinking positive thoughts about how good you will feel, maybe listen to some "get up and go" music while folding laundry or running the vacuum or whatever it is that you are doing during the day. Then when the time comes, go for it! (I wanted to say "just do it", but that slogan is already taken isn't it?)

Be prepared for negative thoughts. One of my clients was a busy career mom. She found the most success was to get up early and exercise in the mornings before she got herself ready for work and her children ready for school. The biggest challenge was not talking herself out of her exercise. Lying in bed, it might still be dark outside, cold, and the bed feels so warm and cozy. Maybe it was a late night and there wasn't enough sleep. There are so many thoughts that can enter our minds as we are contemplating making the time to exercise.

Know this ahead of time. Be prepared for the negative talk. Be present and aware - and then don't let it happen. When the negative thoughts start, remind yourself of all the good reasons for getting up and getting your exercise done. Talk to yourself encouragingly as you would talk to a friend. In my post Voices In My Head I talk about the negative dialogue we often carry around with us. The first step is to be aware of it, the second step is to correct it. If you are going to make exercise a part of your life, you have to carry the right dialogue in your head to succeed.

If you haven't already, I suggest you read Exercise and Will Power - Part One. I talk about "using our will to accomplish something despite obstacles. Doing something even when it is hard. This is certainly a quality we would like our children to develop, and often the best way to do so is by being a living example of strong will forces ourselves."

Once you get started, it becomes easier to make exercise a part of your weekly routine. Oh there will be times when life gets in the way, but it will be easier to get back on track the longer you stick with it. As I mentioned in Homeschool Burn Out, your good health is the most important gift you can give to your family.

Now, the question becomes where to start? For each of you the answer will be different. For some, it will mean including a brisk walk three days each week. By "brisk" I mean faster than the grocery store walk, and definitely faster than the toddler walks you take with your kids. But start where you are. If you have knee and/or back issues, then take it easy. The point is to do SOMETHING. Work on improving with time. If the best you can do to start is a 10-minute walk around the neighborhood, three times a week, then that is where you start. You can work on increasing your time to 15-minutes and then eventually to 30-minutes. And then you can add another day each week.

On the other hand, don't set unsustainable goals either. I have heard clients/patients tell me they "are going to work out everyday for an hour!" And then when they miss a day, they feel terrible. Please don't set your self up for failure. Set small and realistic goals for yourself to start with.

The type of exercise you choose should be realistic as well. Don't jump into running if you haven't been walking. But I do want to encourage you to do cardiovascular training, or aerobic work such as walking, biking, jogging, perhaps an aerobic video at home or even better a class at your local gym. In addition, I strongly encourage all of you to include some resistance training. This is where you methodically work the major muscle groups of the body with some type of resistance. It might be using your own body weight, or you might like to obtain some light weight dumbbells. Elastic exercise bands can work too.

Why do I encourage the resistance training? There are many reasons. Numerous studies have shown benefits to resistance training including:

• Increased bone density
• Increased muscle mass - I'm not talking big bulky muscles, I'm talking small changes that result in a higher metabolism - that means you burn more calories at rest with more muscle. Now who can't appreciate eating a few extra calories every day?
• Higher resting metabolism - this can lead to greater weight loss if that is your goal
• Increased muscle tone - none of us want saggy arms!
• Increased strength
• Increased flexibility - as we work our muscles, we are also working the ligaments and tendons supporting our joints, and they remain more flexible with use (use it or lose it)
• Other health benefits - studies have shown improvement in blood pressure, cholesterol levels, blood sugar control, and cardiovascular improvements with strength training

Alright, so how to do resistance training if you don't belong to a gym or have a home gym? If you can invest in the following equipment, I can take you through an entire full body resistance training routine:

1. a large exercise ball
2. two sets of light weight dumbbells (5# and 10#)

For a number of years I was a fitness instructor, working from a local gym where I lived on the Outer Banks. Unfortunately, in 2003 hurricane Isabelle destroyed the building where the gym was located. In order to continue training with my clients, I went to their homes, and the above was the primary equipment we used. And I can tell you, we saw great results as indicated by a lower resting heart rate, weight loss, loss of inches around the waist and hips, and increased muscle strength.

In my next post, I will take you through some of the resistance exercises you can do with an exercise ball and dumbbells. I will talk about the different muscle groups we will be working, which ones to start with, proper form and technique, and common mistakes to avoid.

Hope this gets you moving!
M

Chalkboard for Our Homeschool

I don't know why I waited so long, but we are finally making ourselves a large blackboard for our school work. And I am so excited!

I mentioned it hesitantly to Husband last week and was surprised at how supportive he was. Immediately he went and got the paint and board, and has been working hard all week to finish the painting and add some trim. (He's great like that.)

Here is our before and after photos...

Chalkboard paint

Flat board

Bottom piece husband decided to purchase to hold the chalk

Finished board

Now I have to practice board writing and drawing. I have some lovely examples I pinned at Pinterest.
And I am anxiously awaiting my order from Meadowsweet Naturals of dust-free chalk and colored chalk.

If I manage any decent drawings, I will let you know!

Mornings on The Beach

I spent a number of years growing up on the Outer Banks of North Carolina. As an adult I moved away several times, but kept returning. I still have family, friends, a family home and many, many fond memories of the Outer Banks. And my oldest two children still talk about their "growing up" on the Outer Banks. While it is a vacation spot for so many, it will always feel like home to us.

I loved being there all year long. It was a joy driving to work each morning and returning home each evening as I watched the sun rising and falling over the sounds and ocean. The ocean, like the sky, changes from moment to moment and season to season. Here is a sequence of photos, taken at sunrise.

It turned out to be a cloudy, overcast day. But you would never had known from the fire of the sunrise.

A Difficult Homeschool Day

Sometimes your days (weeks) don't go as planned. This has been one of those weeks for us. Sean, my eleven-year-old home-to-public school has returned to home school. I only have a rough outline for his upcoming lessons.

I am starting second grade with my almost eight-year-old, and just received my curriculum from Christopherus. I am very excited about this beautiful curriculum, but need to get organized.

Meanwhile, I have been working extra days at job. I enjoy my work as a clinical dietitian, but it is tough to come home from a nine hour day plus another two hours of driving and have my family greet me with "what's for dinner mom?"  And while I am away working, the house doesn't get cleaned, the laundry doesn't get washed, and I find my stress level rising.

And then both Sean and Alina have been fighting colds. This means sleeplessness as husband and I are up with Alina and her coughing, stuffy, can't sleep nights.

All this combines to create "A Difficult Homeschool Day". Those of you homeschooling, or even the hard working stay at home moms, know what I mean. You wake up (late and tired), stumble from bed, the baby whining, the older two already in the middle of their first fight, and you don't know where to start. Quick, start a load of laundry? Or grab a shower? Make breakfast? Throw together a lesson? Check email? Run the vacuum? Pull the covers back over your head?

I decided to skip the lessons. We had breakfast, I had the shower and started some homemade chicken stock. Then Sita asked if we could have a picnic today? Great idea!

Backpacks with stuffed animals ready for the picnic!

We packed lunches, the girls packed their backpacks, and we headed out the door to enjoy some warmer than usual winter weather.

Sandwiches in the warm sun.

Creek play on a warm winter day.

Sean hates having his picture taken, so you will always see the back of him.

Snow sculpting.

We ended up having a pretty good day after all...
Michelle

We Are What We Eat - Oh No!

Back in the fall, I was asked to give a community talk on diet and Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder. At the end of the talk, I decided to include some popular children’s foods and a description of their ingredients as listed on the labels.

Now, I am not militant about what my children eat by any means. I attempt to make most of our meals homemade from “real” and organic foods (meats, poultry, eggs, dairy, grains, vegetables and fruits). And I offer fruits and vegetables with meals and snacks.

But we do eat packaged foods and restaurant foods as well. I love convenience, and I love eating out. And I love snack foods. I grew up in a home with a huge organic garden and made-from-scratch meals, you can see my post here: Culture of Food. But we always had packaged snack foods, candies, and sodas in the house too. Maybe that is why I am able to self-regulate so well, I always had whatever foods I wanted, whenever I wanted, plus a constant supply of healthy options.

Anyway, I am well aware of the controversy surrounding the safety of food additives, specifically food dyes and artificial sweeteners, but I also try not to think about them too much since we don’t consume a lot of highly processed packaged foods. Besides, I have enough to worry about on a daily basis with trying to balance family needs, working part-time, homeschooling, and personal time.

But really looking at what is in these popular packaged foods and the safety questions surrounding them was eye-opening. I want to share some of what I discovered.

I looked at the ingredients listed on a number of popular food products, but the following list of concerning ingredients came specifically from Kellog’s Strawberry Pop Tarts (45 different ingredients), and General Mills Cinnamon Toast Crunch (about 14 listed ingredients).

• Sodium Acid Pyrophosphate – when I Googled this I found a long list of chemical manufacturers. And I found the OSHA required safety sheets (called the Material Safety Data Sheets, or MSDS) on this chemical. http://www.sciencelab.com/msds.php?msdsId=9924954

According to the Safety Sheets for sodium acid pyrophosphate:

Sodium Acid Pyrophosphate is “very hazardous in case of skin contact, of eye contact…is hazardous in case of ingestion and inhalation”.
Doesn't sound like something you want to be consuming does it?

• Caramel Color – this is not Grandma’s method of browning sugar. Caramel color is made by reacting sugars with ammonia and sulfites. The chemical reaction, besides producing the caramel color, also produces cancer-causing chemicals.
• The most widely used coloring in foods is the red # 40. According to the Center for Science in the Public Interest, the safety testing on this color has been poorly conducted.
• Yellow # 6 is the third most widely used coloring and studies have shown tumors of the adrenal glands and kidneys in laboratory animals.
• FD&C Yellow # 5, used in beverages, candy, ice cream, custards and other foods, may be more likely to cause reactions than other additives. In fact, the Food and Drug Administration has acknowledged this and requires that Yellow # 5 be clearly labeled on food packaging along with other ingredients.
• But many colorings and food additives don’t require labeling, so it can be difficult to tell whether a food contains artificial coloring or other additives.
• Blue 1 – poor safety testing
• Trisodium Phosphate http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trisodium_phosphate

 – also known as sodium phosphate. This is a popular cleaning agent, degreaser, and stain remover. In the late 1960’s government regulators in 17 states determined overuse of this cleaning agent to have caused a series of ecological problems. This substance is regulated by the Environmental Protection Agency as a hazard to water.

But we are allowed to eat it in our food?

• BHT – prevents oils from going rancid. Residues have been found in human fat tissue

These are just a few of the many ingredients that are not only being added to our foods, but permitted. Now I have some questions I would like you to consider.

Why are these ingredients in our foods? Why are they permitted to be in our foods? Why do we, the concerned parents and consumers allow these ingredients in our foods?


The food industry has huge sums of money and HUGE political influence thanks to their well-organized lobbying interests.


Here are two great resources for education and change:

The Center for Science in the Public Interest is an excellent resource for consumers, and helping to make changes to benefit all of us:

http://www.cspinet.org/reports/chemcuisine.htm

Food Democracy Now is another great group, working to create change:

http://www.fooddemocracynow.org/

And here is a great little video about organic foods versus non-organic. Wonder if she is a homeschooler?
http://www.seventhgeneration.com/learn/video/debate-over-organic?source=email

Thanks for reading!
M

The Three Billy Goats Gruff

I have been inspired so much by my lovely Waldorf Home School Co-op group. What a hard-working group of moms! Last year I was in the class of seven and eight-year-olds with my middle daughter. The baby tagged along. This year I have been spending time in the "Shining Crystal" room, where the kindergartens are. My youngest is only two, but she has really enjoyed the story times and being around the "smaller" people.

I had read so much about circle time activities, as well as presenting stories to the younger children, but seeing it and participating in it has been so helpful. So I was inspired to be more creative with my own story telling at home.

I decided to take a simple story for my two-year old and create a scene and act it out for her. It was fun and my two girls, the seven-year old included, enjoyed it.

The story of the three billy goats gruff was easy enough, I already knew the story by heart and the props were simple. I created little goats and the troll from beeswax. The  troll's bridge was made from wooden block over a blue silk "river". The forest was created by using branches tucked into a base of clay. Scattered leaves added to the forest floor, and a green silk on top of some books was the "green meadow".

I kept the scene hidden until story time. My daughter's face was mesmerized as I told the story of the three billy goats gruff, and it was a big hit for several weeks. Unfortunately, the beeswax goats soon lost horns, and the old troll lost his head. In the future I would consider needle felting the characters.

This may seem simple enough, and I am certain many of you have been creating these story scenes for some time. But this is something new in our home, hopefully a tradition that will be continued.

Thanks for reading!
M

Media Limits and Creative Play

This family used to have a lot of media. Television, movies, computer, handhelds, you name it. First thing in the morning, afternoons, meal times, before bed, late nights.

I introduced my oldest, Sean, to "Sesame Street" when he was almost one. I was so excited, since I had grown up watching the show every morning, and now here I was sharing it with my child. It was a nostalgic moment. From that we progressed to other PBS shows. Then kid movies, then adult movies as he was permitted to watch what we were watching. How else would we get the chance to see what we wanted to watch?

I encouraged him to watch television when he was little, especially after his sister was born. I needed that time to rest. I felt it was wrong to encourage so much television viewing, but I didn't know how to give it up either.

I introduced him to Nicklelodeon online games when he was almost four. Over the years he has owned a Gameboy, Nintendo DS, two laptops, a Wii, an X-box, and now an Iphone. Most of these were purchased for him by his father (my ex-husband). In the beginning I didn't see a problem. But eventually I noticed the behavior changes. When he was "plugged in" he was content, but the moment he became "unplugged", he became bored, restless, and almost frantic. Very much like an addict. He wouldn't know what to do with himself.

And Sita, although not nearly as plugged in as her brother, loved to watch movies and television. When the television was off, she was always asking for more. She would be bored, sitting listlessly with "nothing to do". My attempts to get them to play were fruitless.

When I stumbled upon Simplicity Parenting, and then Waldorf Education and Rudolph Steiner, I decided to make some drastic changes. I eliminated the media, cold turkey.

It was really tough in the beginning, no one seemed to know what to do with themselves. There was a lot of complaining and asking for more - more TV, more games. But over time, they learned to be creative again. They pulled out the boxes of family games, the puzzles, the blocks, the card games, and the art and craft supplies that were already in our home.

We started sitting at the table for meals. They would fight over who got to set the table and work to make it attractive. They helped more with the cooking, and chores became a regular thing. We talked about our days over dinner. They built elaborate blanket forts in the living room.

Sean complains now that his friends don't want to do anything but sit inside and play on their Xboxes. He is learning to limit his own screen time, and is proud that he is so different from the neighborhood kids. We still have a lot more media in our home than most of the Waldorf families I know, but I am pleased we have made significant changes.

Occassionally the media starts to creep back in, and I have to decide how much is too much. If I had my way, we would not have a television at all, as I find it addictive myself. It is too easy to sit and watch mindlessly, even when there is nothing on really worth watching.

I could go on about the detriments of too much media in children's lives, there is certainly plenty of research available - media's impact on children, http://kidshealth.org/parent/positive/family/tv_affects_child.html,  http://www.kff.org/entmedia/upload/The-Effects-of-Electronic-Media-on-Children-Ages-Zero-to-Six-A-History-of-Research-Issue-Brief.pdf .

But mostly I wanted to share how much reducing the "screen time" in our home has brought positive changes to our lives. Now, instead of constant pleas for "more! more! more!" we are better able to enjoy each other, spend more time reading together, and have become a more creative family.

Sean's elaborate domino set-up. Not an easy thing to do with a very busy toddler on the loose! Notice the attention to detail - the candles, small buddha figure, and the hot peppers (he grew those himself!)

Sita started her day playing "Princess" with her sister, but ended up with a pirate theme while I was upstairs laying down with Alina...

On this particular morning, I was offered a "breakfast buffet" the girls created... 

Nothing like a big cardboard box to get your imagination going...

We still enjoy family movie night on ocassion, and a sick day is a good time for being "plugged in". But I am so happy we changed our screen time habits!

Training Log January

Monday January 2nd

• Resistance training working on chest, back, shoulders
• Stationary bike - interval training 30 minutes

Friday January 6th

• 1 hour hiking, slight hills

Saturday January 7th

• Resistance training chest, back
• Run 20 minutes hills, followed by stationary bike 25 minutes intervals

Sunday January 8th

• Trail run one hour

Wednesday January 11th

• Run 1.5 miles (at 6.1-6.3 mph); Stationary bike 30 minutes; Run 1.5 miles (at 6.2-6.3 mph)

Saturday January 14th

• Bike 30 minutes; Run 20 minutes

Monday January 16th

• Resistance training chest, back, shoulders
• Stationary bike 25 minutes

Saturday January 21st

• Run 1.5 miles (at 6.1-6.3 mph); Stationary bike 40 minutes; Run 2 miles (at 6.3-6.8 mph)

Sunday January 22nd

• Resistance training arms, legs
• Run hills 20 minutes

Training Plans

As I describe in Exercise and Will Power, exercise is a very important part of self-development. Unless you have a job that keeps you moving all day, most of us need much more physical activity than we typically get on a daily basis. The human body is designed for movement.

Currently I am training for a duathlon event in early April. The event involves competing in three consecutive events. For this race, the first portion is a 5k run, the second portion is a 30k bike, and the third portion is another 5k run. The overall fastest combined time wins the race.

I decided to share my weekly and monthly training routine. If anyone has any questions or would like help creating an individualized exercise plan for their own fitness goals, please let me know! I would love to chat.
Michelle

Exercise and Will Power - Part One

In Waldorf Education, we often talk about “developing the will”. This is similar to those outside of Waldorf talking about their “will power” or “self-discipline”. Perhaps it is a new diet and the “will power” or discipline needed to stick with it. Sometimes we talk about people surviving amazing circumstances because of their “strong will to live”. Or the “will to succeed” combined with strong self-discipline resulting in great personal success.

In all these cases, it is about using our will to accomplish something despite obstacles. Doing something even when it is hard. This is certainly a quality we would like our children to develop, and often the best way to do so is by being a living example of strong will forces ourselves.

I think I have pretty a pretty strong will. Attending college in my early twenties, while simultaneously working two and sometimes three jobs to support myself required a strong will and self-discipline. During graduate school, while trying to juggle a part-time job, volunteer work, the birth of my first child and a long internship program, I often felt like giving up. But with encouragement from my family and friends and perseverance, I was able to successfully manage all of these things simultaneously.

This was soon followed by the loss of both parents and a devastating divorce. Those were tough times, but again I persevered.

But lately, despite the comfort and joy in my life, I have been struggling with my will. Perhaps it is the lack of difficulties in my life that leaves me increasingly lethargic and undisciplined. Perhaps it is the lack of urgency – parenting and homeschooling is a long-term commitment, not something with a clear endpoint.

When I think back to the consistent thread of all the challenging times, it was my exercise. I always made time to exercise. When my classmates were celebrating the end of exams with parties and intoxication, I was headed to the gym for a good long training session. After the birth of my son, I would get up extra early for a run and have my shower, breakfast, and be dressed and ready for quality time with him. Grieving for my father, it was the long walks in the woods that most soothed me. My mother’s loss was more of a shock, and the long daily runs, often ending in tears of grief, helped me to heal.

During the separation and divorce years, I managed to squeeze in moments to train for a biathlon. The music on my Ipod and the rapid beating of my heart helped me to cope with the grief of losing my family and kept me moving forward.

I know there are many moms struggling with their own will forces. Whether it is planning healthy meals for their families, meeting all the demands of parenting, balancing work outside the home, or being prepared for their homeschooling, many moms struggle to find more self-discipline and will forces to accomplish all that is required of them. And few take the time to exercise.

I can hear it now, “Exercise?! Now Michelle, how can you possibly expect me to squeeze one more thing into my day, let alone time to exercise?”

Let me tell you, if you can make time for yourself in this small way, it will spill over into other areas of your life as well. When I am self-disciplined and exercising regularly, it starts a chain reaction. I then find myself motivated to do more, accomplish more.

I thought of you and writing this post when I returned from my training last night. Last week was a typical week of lessons, chores, piano lessons, meals. I had been feeling increasingly lethargic. Late yesterday afternoon, after starting dinner, it was time for my exercise. I really didn't feel like training. In fact I would have been perfectly happy to stay in and work on my knitting, or spend some time on the computer. But I felt obligated to go and train. After all, as I mention in an earlier post Home School Burn Out, I have made the commitment to compete in a duathlon this spring. I have paid the registration fee. I have informed my family of my intentions. I really needed to take advantage of the training time available to me. So out the door I went.

An hour and a half later I returned, and I was a new woman. My thinking was clearer. I felt more like "myself" (rather than the lethargic grumpy woman I had been earlier.) I felt strong and well. I felt energetic and happy. I was proud of my accomplishment (see training log January.) I was excited to be moving toward a goal. And the feelings of health and well-being have continued with me today. Working out creates momentum - one good experience leads to another. You will look forward to your next training session remembering the sense of accomplishment from the last.

We all know the benefits of regular exercise – lower blood pressure, lower “bad” cholesterol levels, elevated “good” cholesterol levels, weight control. But what about the less talked about benefits of exercise?

The release of endorphins helps us feel better. We enjoy stress relief. Our thinking is clearer. Increased circulation aids digestion, improves mobility, and creates healthier joints. Exercise improves our balance. Our lymph system, so important to a healthy immunity, requires large muscle movement to circulate properly. I could go on and on. Many moms are devoted to working on themselves, to being better people and better parents. Exercise and being physically active are just as important as inner work.

Let me say it again. Exercise and being physically active are just as important as inner work.

There is a lot of information available out there about exercising (good and bad). I hope you will continue reading as I describe different options for exercise, how to get started, types of exercise, common mistakes, and setting realistic exercise goals.

If you have any comments, questions, or suggestions, please share!
Michelle

Frozen Fruit Pops!

Winter time is not usually frozen treat time. But I did surprise Alina when I returned from the weekly shopping trip with a new box of frozen fruit pops - her favorite. I was rewarded with exclamations and a joyous smile...

Wouldn't it be great if we could all feel such exuberance for the small things in life?

First Snow

Our first snow this year. Not much, but definitely enough for a slippery, sliddery, spin down the hill...

Back inside to hot soup, warm bread, and hot cocoa.

An Unschooling Day

An unschooling moment in an unschooling day. I found the girls dressed in Kimonos. Funny, we ended up having sushi for lunch.

Not so Crafty - My Work

Just a few less-than-perfect photos of my less-than-perfect craft projects...

A felted purse - needs more felting.

My first sweater. Made from one of those craft store booklets. With awful synthetic yarn - it's darn scratchy. Oh, and it is not pretty on the seams - I don't like the finishing part. At all. That's why the pattern I am using now is seamless. So glad for ravelry - a free site for knitters and crocheters .

Current sweater project...

A nice wool blend sweater from ravelry - girls-cap-sleeved-spring-shirt. No finishing, just knit and wear!

This was a free knit pattern from ravelry. Quick and easy. Great way to use up some of the excess yarn in my stash.

From soulemama tutorial. Very quick hat. I used baby llama wool, incredibly soft and warm.
Here is Sita's...

"Blue Cloud Afghan", from Knitting Green book. This is a beautiful book, and there are a number of great patterns I plan to try.

The yarn is a luxurious hand painted mixture of merino, alpaca, silk and Donegal produced by Araucania Yarns, a group of dedicated  artists and designers dedicated to supporting local sustainable job development in Chile. This lace pattern begins and ends the afghan, the rest is ribbed in mistake pattern. I started it last spring. It is my "in-between" project time, or my "too tired to do anything else" project.

I only recently tried my hand at needle felting. Alina loves the story of "Goldilocks and the Three Bears", so I decided to create the characters. Now, these are probably my third attempt, as I have re-worked these poor bears. First they were just sort of brown shapeless things. My second working I felt better about. Until Sita proclaimed "they look like gorillas!" Third attempt and I am done, for better or worse....

I really hope I can get better with practice.

These are the fairies I made. Sean and Sita were so impressed that I made these, they each wanted to make one themselves. Sean was convinced we could make our fortune selling these on eBay...until I showed him some of the needle felted works available on etsy...

So these are some of the crafts this very uncrafty mom has undertaken in the last year. It's been fun, and challenging, and rewarding.

I would love to hear some of your crafty adventures, or misadventures.
Michelle

Home to School and Home Again

Is three weeks long enough to make a decision about school? My head tells me probably not, but my heart shouts "yes!" I have to admit, my heart wasn't totally committed to the public school attendance. Yes, it has been easier working with Sita and Alina, and we have been able to center our days around activities for these younger two. Fewer lessons to plan, less arguing, less to squeeze in everyday.

BUT. I miss him. He comes home from school tired and hungry. He wants his 30 minutes of computer time. He has not been getting enough sleep, so he sleeps extra late on the weekends and has even taken naps. I couldn't get him to take naps when he was three! I see so little of him. No time or energy for his usual chores. I realize how much I depend on this eleven-year old to help with the cleaning, cooking, and caring of younger siblings.

On the plus side, he has shown me he has the ability to be responsible. He has set his own alarm, gotten himself up every morning, showered, teeth brushed, healthy breakfast, and made it to school on time. He has kept up marvelously with his homework (always the first thing done upon returning home.) He has kept himself organized. He has made excellent grades, although the A's I am not overly impressed with, since the work has been easy and he has not had to work hard for those A's. He has tried to make the most of all this, and tried to enjoy the positive aspects of attending school.

He has been learning some interesting things. Not overly important stuff, typical public school stuff in language arts, science, and history. You know, like who came first, pick one - Native Americans (Or Indians, if you are politcally incorrect, or just lost, like Columbus), the Spanish, English or the French. And the scientific method. Ah yes, I had to learn all about this in college. The steps in creating a truly scientific study. Except they leave out the part where you take money from some lobbying group to propose the result they want to have published.

OK, enough with the sarcasm. Honestly, even on a mediocre day, I think I have a lot to offer in the way of education. I can share some pretty amazing history and culture, including some for the rarely studied, and yet still important cultures. And I can provide him with some useful math skills, such as budgeting, balancing a check account, interest rates, and writing a business plan. (In addition of course, to the other not-so-useful math of geometry and algebra, I can teach that too.) Not to mention the important life skills of cooking, cleaning, getting along with those you live with, compromise, and time-management skills.

The biggest reason he wants to return home? Not enough sleep. Second reason? He can get more learning done in two hours at home than he can in seven hours at school. Sounds good to me.
Michelle

Sweet Potato Biscuits

When my husband and I first began dating years ago, he frequently took me to his favorite restaurant on the Outer Banks of North Carolina. They served a basket full of sweet potato biscuits with every meal. They were so tender, so moist, with little chunks of sweet potato. He loved them. I wanted to learn to make those biscuits for him, because I loved him.

It wasn't until many years later that we were finally able to settle down. Last summer we tore out the lovely landscaping of rose bushes, azaleas, and enormous hostas in our small townhouse back yard to create a raised bed garden. It took a lot of work between the two of us to create the beds and amend our awful, heavy, red clay soil. Lots of manure, organic compost and topsoil, and a good many blisters as well.

As we were getting a late start to our planting, I had no real plan about what to grow, I just knew I wanted to grow something, and something we liked. The garden eventually included green beans, cucumbers, several varieties of peppers, squash, tomatoes and strawberries. I came across the sweet potato plants accidentally as I was looking for trellises. I didn't really expect them to do well, since the soil still had the clay characteristics.

The sweet potato vines grew happily all over the yard, and the heart-shaped leaves were attractive enough. But what was happening underground? Would there be anything worth harvesting, I wondered all summer long? Finally, last fall, I started to dig, and dig, and dig sweet potatoes. Big ones, small ones, twisted ones, round ones, long skinny ones, and GIANT ones.

All together I have had mashed sweet potatoes; baked sweet potatoes; five sweet potato pies (shared with family and friends); and three batches of sweet potato biscuits. Each batch of biscuits better than the last as I have perfected both my recipe and my technique.

I love these biscuits, and I could eat them for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, then again for dessert.

Here is my recipe:
2 cups unbleached all-purpose flour
1 tablespoon sugar
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 stick of chilled butter, cut into small pieces
1 cup cooked, mashed sweet potato
1/2 cup whole milk

Preheat oven to 400 degrees
Combine flour, sugar, baking powder, and salt in a bowl.
Cut in butter with a pastry blender until mixture is similar in texture to coarse corn meal.
In a small bowl, combine the sweet potato and milk, then add to the flour mixture.
Stir just until moist.
Turn dough onto a lightly floured surface and knead lightly five or six times.
Roll dough to about a 3/4 inch thickness and cut with a two-inch biscuit cutter (I used a small glass).
I gently rolled and patted the scraps into small biscuits.
Bake at 400 degrees for about 15 minutes until lightly browned.

Enjoy!

Homeschool Burn Out

I have been debating whether to share this or not. It’s hard to admit when we feel like we are failing at something, especially when it involves letting down those we love the most.  But I am taking a deep breath and sharing.

I’m tired. Tired of all the work and planning that goes into a lesson that is over so quickly. Even if it is met with enthusiasm. I’m tired of all the plans that don’t get executed. I’m tired of always feeling like I am never doing enough. I’m tired of feeling so isolated and lost, and not feeling like I have the time (or energy) to connect with other homeschooling moms. I’m tired of always striving, aspiring, but still feeling inadequate. I’m tired of beating myself up for all the parenting mistakes I make. I’m tired of not having quality time with my husband. I’m tired of not having time to pursue the things I am interested in, and when I do take time, feeling guilty for all the other things I am not doing. I’m tired and I just don’t feel like trying anymore!


Whew! Do you ever have days (weeks) where you feel like this? OK, so what to do?

Donna Simmons has a great article on the  September Boom and Bust.

These words especially spoke to me:

“At home isolation can mean that one feels utterly alone in making decisions and teaching and even if one has a supportive spouse and perhaps a Waldorf co-op, at the end of the day, it's just you and your child staring at each other across the dining room table, crayons and main lesson books spilling out between you.”

It’s more than just the schooling. It’s the rhythm of the days, the constant demands of family, home, and work. I am a very strong introvert, and even as an active child had a need for a lot of downtime to recharge myself. But how to make time for oneself, without neglecting the needs of family, friends, spouse and work? And shouldn't I just will myself into moving forward, giving freely of myself to my loving family, after all, they are only young for such a short time right?

So, what to do? Last year I attended this wonderful health conference sponsored by the hospital I work for. The first speakers were a group of yoga instructors. Not just your ordinary lithe yoga instructors - these three women were all over the age of 72. They were special, you could see that the moment you looked at them. They carried themselves with confidence, grace, and a freely expressed joy that you don't often encounter. The lead instructor asked the listening group to write down on a piece of paper the one thing that we considered the most important in the whole world. She then collected the papers and began reading them randomly. Many said things like family, relationships, and love. But many also mentioned Health. Yes, our health is the most important thing to us. But that sounds so selfish doesn't it? But as she pointed out, our health is the most important thing, because without good health how can we share all the other important things like caring for our families and friends, loving and helping others?

I try to remind myself of this as I consider what I need at this moment in time to feel healthy and whole again. I know for a fact that how I feel - happy, sad, excited, silly, serious, grumpy, resentful, affects the mood and atmosphere in my home. From the baby to my spouse, I have the POWER to influence how everyone else in my home feels. Sometimes I can will myself into positive feelings. But sometimes I cannot. And when I chronically neglect myself, it becomes harder and harder to will myself into feeling positive.

Melissa Nielsen does an excellent job of encouraging mothers to care for themselves in her curriculum guides.


So, I am thinking I need to take a little time to renew myself. 

I will find a way to balance the needs of the family with my own needs. I will take time to pursue activities that are meaningful and important to me, without feeling guilty. I will continue to strive for more knowledge – of child development, of Steiner’s teachings, of healthy eating, of clinical nutrition issues (for my clinical work)…but I will balance this with joyful and renewing activities.

·         I am registering myself for a spring duathlon – 5K run, 30K bike, 5K run

·         I am starting a yoga class

·         I am reaching out to more of my mom friends and planning activities with them

·         I am scheduling a date day with my husband at least once a month (this is a start, considering our work schedule)

·         I am learning to ask for help (always a problem for me, passed down from my very independent and stoic mother)

I am hoping that by having more renewing activities, I can better approach my home life with joy. I have experienced joy in the ‘work’ of parenting, home-making, and home schooling, so I know it is possible. Remembering to feel gratitude everyday is extremely helpful, but difficult to maintain when you are tired and feeling burned out.

I am wondering if anyone else has these moments of wanting to give up? And what do you do to overcome them? How do you regain the confidence and joy in your home life? How do you balance your own needs with those of your family? What excites you, makes you feel refreshed? And how do you find time for these things in the midst of schooling, cooking, cleaning, being present for your family?

Thanks for reading,

M

The Scavenger Hunt

I introduced two tiny sisters in an earlier lesson this week. They recently continued their adventure assisted by Sita, who kindly helped them with a scavenger hunt. I had written clues and placed them in special hiding places. Each clue led to the next clue, but before she could read the clue, she had to solve some problems. I had created worksheets to review some of the work we have been doing recently. She had worksheets asking her to match the Roman Numerals with the correct numbers; filling in the blank skip counting (twos, fives, tens), reading word families, and sight words.

Once she solved the problems (completed the worksheet), she could have the clue and find the next set. This ended in the discovery of a key, which unlocked the box. Inside the box was another small, plain wooden box. Inside this, was a set of earrings. Magic earrings, since they give you courage, and it takes courage to get your ears pierced for the first time.


I had been thinking of this for some time, as Sita had been expressing interest in getting her ears pierced. "Does it hurt a lot?" she would frequently ask. "How old were you when you got your ears pierced? Did you cry? What did your earrings look like?"

Originally I had planned to wait until she was older, but changed my mind. She has been having trouble sleeping on her own for several weeks now, and needs a boost of courage. She is a bit of a melancholic (like me!), and can feel sorry for herself. She is also extremely sensitive, compassionate, and considerate. So, the earrings. They are magic courage earrings of course!

I told her, when she decided she was ready, I would take her to have her ears pierced with the new earrings. At first she thought "tomorrow" sounded good. But after thinking about it, she decided today was the day. Now, I was a little apprehensive. What if she got one ear done and then couldn't go through with it for the other? What if she chickened out and then felt even worse?

I decided to radiate confidence, excitement and pride. So off we went. We had to wait a few minutes for the attendant to get to us, and then the paperwork, and aftercare instructions. All adding to poor Sita's apprehension. I held her hand as the attendant carefully marked her ears, cleaned everything, and prepared for the piercing.

I believe she was surprised at how quickly it was done, and how little it hurt. And she was so proud of herself! She couldn't wait to tell her dad and step-dad all about her new earrings! All evening I kept hugging her and telling her how proud I was and what a brave girl she is.

Now, when she talks to me, I just stare at her shiny new earrings and say, "I'm sorry, did you say something? I was distracted by those gorgeous ears." She smiles and says "Oh mom!"

Toddler Times

Whenever I am trying to control too much, accomplish too much, or planning too much, my toddler teaches me a lesson. I recently read a post by Soule Mama where she describes an opportunity for a busy day of accomplishing tasks. Instead she decides to pass the day on toddler time. I missed the same opportunity at my house the other day.

I had a lot of cooking, baking and cleaning I wanted to accomplish. The oldest was at school, the younger two playing happily. Perfect opportunity, or so I thought. Alina is the first of my three children to actually tolerate being dressed warmly, including socks, slippers and hats. Until recently. These days, she is dressing herself, which leads to multiple outfit changes, especially as she and 'sissy' play dress-up with all the beautiful hand-me-downs in sissy's closet.

Being busy and distracted, I only half-heartedly attempted to get her clothes back on her. So she is running around and I hear Sita's loud "ewww, gross, you pooped!" Great. Clean up the mess, the oven timer goes off...

I thought I was safe. I mean, she had just pooped, who would expect more, so soon? "Alina!" Sita yells. This time I actually get a diaper on her, despite her protests. Back to the kitchen. A little while later I hear Alina ask me to "dry this up mommy." Oh man, she is naked AGAIN, and now there is a puddle on the dining room chair. Clean that up, another diaper, more clothes.

Whew, what a day! But everything is done, lots of food in the house, no more cooking for a few days. The girls and I enjoy the afternoon sun. Later Alina asks me "you mad at me poopy mommy?"

"No Alina, I'm not mad at you for pooping. I love your poop. But next time keep it in the diaper or the potty OK?"

"I sweet art?" she asks with a smile.

"Yes, you are my sweet heart," I respond with a hug.

Later that evening, I am starting my new knitting project in the bedroom while listening to daddy give Alina her bath. Suddenly I hear "Alina! You pooped?! In the tub!"


I remembered those last few dishes to clean in the kitchen, and I made a run for it...

Eat, Sleep, Knit

It happens every year. First a day here and there, then several days, then a week or two. The blues. Melancholy. Dragging myself through the day, lethargic. The sky is pushing gray clouds. I am feeling heavy like those clouds.

In the past, I would medicate myself - food, alcohol, caffeine. Each has it's own price. In the end, you feel worse. These days I take better care of myself. I have to. I am Mom. The little ones rely on me. Husband relies on me. I want to be a good care-giver to them, and a good role-model.


So I take good care of myself. I stay in more. Cook nourishing meals. Drink warming teas. Bake, paint, roll around on the floor with the kids. Eventually my energy and enthusiasm returns, just as the clouds roll away and the blue sky returns.

In the meantime, my favorite things are eating, sleeping, and knitting.